Never in my life… did I wear purple on my toes in Senegalese leather footwear training a puppy to run gracefully next to my bicycle.
Never in my life… was I as loved or as loving.
Never in my life… was I as alone but at the same time surrounded by a variety of online talent.
Never in my life… was I as close to actually writing something other than letters.
Never in my life… was I falling asleep so effortlessly or waking up so joyfully.
Never in my life… was my back as straight and my shoulders as pulled back.
Never in my life… was I being asked what I wanted for dinner. (Well, this one might be a lie. My grandma used to ask me this, for example.)
Never in my life… did I feel such a relief, since my body knows it as well as my mind and soul how many things had to come just right for all of this to happen and to feel as right as it does.
Never in my life… did I make an apfelstrudel, even though my father is a strudel champion, and when I told this to my amore, he said: “But don’t you ever watch him cook?” And I realised that I don’t, as a matter of fact, or if I ever do it is not with a purpose to learn to repeat it. But now I did it, a strudel from a conglomerate of online recipes and with completely wrong dough. For my amore’s 50th. Sometimes you gotta give.
Never in my life… did I clean the stove immediately after use. Most usually my stove was not something I could be proud of. And I mean that. My kitchen used to be a laboratory. Really not proud of it but a cute anecdote: pre-washing machine, I mostly kept all my dishes dirty at all times. One time as I was just about to lie down in my super hot wonderful bathtub, I got a brilliant idea. You can guess the rest. I had never washed so many dishes in such a short time.
Never in my life… did I make the bed EVERY SINGLE MORNING. It’s almost pathetic but I have to admit that climbing into a made bed at night makes all the difference.
Never in my life… had I so few thoughts that could possibly disturb my equilibrium. Sister, parents and friends far away? Well. Not really much I can do about that. I do get to see my parents every two months or so. Nobody really reading my blog, other than my family, not even my friends? Well, it is in English – I certainly can’t spoon-feed anybody my words or my photos. Not making any money? sigh This is a tough one, but I have plans.
Never in my life… was I tackling any problems that each of us might encounter regarding our life together so immediately, head-on and in a relatively gentle manner. Something tells me there is a future in this.
Never in my life… did I encounter such a primal man, which includes the need of cave time, animalistic behaviour toward the bestia and well, biting when you least expect it.
Never in my life… did I have a man who has no intention of fostering my “little girl”, at least not the part in which I am a whiny, inactive, unconfident, demure little wanker. And I love him for it soooo much.
Never in my life… did I have so much free time. For this reason I am able to read so much. Sometimes it feels like a job – mostly because I don’t have one. It’s a job I’d love. A literary editor! I could have a website! plots / stops plotting cause it should involve earning money. I could have an art gallery! That’s money there! riiiiight Or even better: a super unique shop with many different things. But there is hardly anybody around to buy anything, except in the summer.
Never in my life… (until this year) did I miss out on my period. Right now it’s happening for the third time this year. Getting old. Well – must be if I am to reach that 100.
Never in my life… (since childhood) did I have a loose tooth in my mouth (seeing dentist soon even though he said in August that it should come out naturally). What can I tell you that you didn’t learn in the previous paragraph? But it feels so – not painful, just awful.
Never in my life… did I ever imagine that I’d be living my life in 2014 as I do it, where I do it and with whom I do it. That’s why I say: do not ever think that you have it covered. You have no idea.